This Isn't What Sixteen Was Supposed To Look Like

I thought by sixteen, I’d have a perfect boyfriend, know how to flirt, and laugh with my friends at the mall. I thought my friend group would be made up of tons of girls who always got along and we would all be besties for the rest of our lives. 

Today is my sixteenth birthday. I don’t know if I got it wrong, or if my expectations were too high. I don’t have a boyfriend—so far only a homeless man and 45 year old stranger have been interested in me—I don’t know how to flirt and end up talking to guys the way newborn giraffes walk, I don’t have a perfect friend group. 
Calling the group of girls I know a “friend group” is a bit much, though. In recent months, my friends won’t talk to me. If it were just one girl giving me the cold shoulder, I’d think it was just her, but when it’s all six girls, ignoring you but chatting about their new love interests and life updates right next to you in class, it makes me think I’m the problem. I’ve started replaying every interaction with them in my head, trying to think if I did anything wrong. I always try to be nice, I give them gifts and hugs and text them good luck before important events. 
Maybe all of the coming of age movies and teen dramas showed me a life that doesn’t really exist. I thought being sixteen meant kissing boys on the front porch, not sitting in the drive thru of Chick Fil A praying the cute boy working there sees you. I thought it meant dancing through high school like in High School Musical instead of counting how many weeks until you graduate (it’s 112). I thought it meant enjoying being older and getting to do grown up things, not calculating when your period will come this month like you’re counting down the days until Armageddon. 
I don’t think I’m alone, though. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I think there are other teens out there in the world going through the same experiences—there has to be. Maybe you’re just like me, maybe your teenage years have turned out different than you expected. If so, welcome to the club, you’re not alone.